I usually don’t post too much about what I’ve actually done. I find it largely unimportant. What matters to me is what I thought about what I’ve done, or thought about doing, or thought about in general. Actions speak louder than words, so we’ve all heard… I just feel like that adage applies in very specific situations. In the larger scheme of things, ideas are all that exist.
I’m going to tell you today about something I’ve done.
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A few weeks ago I had the interesting experiencing of helping load three monstrous pigs into a trailer. The first went easily… the second and third proved more stubborn. Since they would not go of there own “free will”, a tactic was devised. The tactic was this: approach pig with a large metal bucket, put bucket over pig’s head, back pig up to chute and up ramp into trailer. Genius! So well planned, in fact, that no one dared volunteer to execute the bucket’s role… so I did. 135lb me vs 700+lb pig.
Bucket in hand, I approached the pig and covered her head. I move the bucket left or right… the pig moves too, all the while backing up. I get her right up into the chute, almost to the trailer and then… she sits down. Bucking the bucket and leaning forwards with her massiveness. She’s scared and whining, ready to bolt back into her pen if given the slightest opportunity. That bucket and my arms are being thrown every which way. My uncle is behind me pushing. Pushing me right into the front legs of the pig… which is using those legs to kick for her life. Its noisy, chaotic, and we keep pushing. I’m not so sure if she’s gonna be able to go over backwards that easily, but I am sure that I’m not letting that bucket get off her head for any reason.
After a minute of pushing, my uncle gets his long arms on the door of the trailer and pulls himself (along with the pig and me) in towards the trailer. The pig flips right on over backwards into the trailer… and the door is closed. I’m battered, my hands are bloody from being slammed into the walls of the chute, but the job is done.
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Following the suggestion of a commenter, I read the book Illusions, by Richard Bach. It fit in so well with my own theory of existence that I was downright startled. Although I’ve never blogged about my “creation” theory, or even directly about my life philosophy… it is something I discuss regularly with friends. None of them have ever had my same views… or read about anyone who shared them. The book is very close to what I have believed since I was old enough to fathom existence and its implications. Fourth grade… when I abandoned christian answers for ones that I made up. I’ve always wanted to write my thoughts on the subjects down, but now… I may as well just add a few sentences to Bach’s work. Really, its eerie that Illusions exists and says what it does.
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I can’t stop thinking that in some ways reality is like the bucket. It is blinding and forceful… directive too, backing us right up into a corner. But, everyone can overcome the bucket… its just having more faith in your own strength. Not backing down just because you can’t see what is ahead. Going against instinct.
So, the parallel is mostly true in my mind, but I realize it comes out a tad bit strange. I’d delete it, but then I’d also have to delete that part above about my experience. Because its what I think about what I do that is truly important… without that… it is not really worth writing about doing anything.