There are plenty of people out there who could tell you that the kindness of others is something to bask in. Why catch the tab if your friends is glad to do it for you, why work if the government will give you food and cash, why do anything when there are those that will come to your rescue? I am not one of those people, but they are out there.

There are others that will tell you kindness can contribute to laziness. That generosity is not always as it seems. That if you don’t work for it yourself, its not worth having. I sometimes think this way.
In both situations you have your gift-givers. The generous, sometimes more fortunate, people that make kindness “happen” – if you will. They love smiles, opening doors, and introducing hope. I have run across a few of these givers. I have been the giver a time or two myself.

Now you ask (or I ask) – how, at one time or another being a giver can I be so reluctant to take? I’m not sure myself. Something about kindness is unsettling. It feel almost unnatural, wrong even, disturbing sometimes. When does your ability to take undermine your ability to work – or, even more importantly – to appreciate the fruits of work? At what point does your acceptance of a gift transform into your actual “ownership” over the gift. Can it ever be yours?

I’m asking today… because I am trying to sort this whole thing out in my mind. The universities to which I applied have offered my thousands of dollars – I do not feel bad to accept their offer based on my impersonal “need” or “stats”. A dear friend hands me an envelope of cash with a personal note – I feel hesitant to accept. What is this? Why isn’t the converse true? Should it be? Is one feeling more accurate than another?

In due time I hope to change the world in which I find myself now. I hope to make it a better place. No doubt kindness will be integrated into my plan of reformation. How would I respond if my kindness went unaccepted or shunned? How would I define eligibility for those wanting to receive it?

In the end – there seems no correct answer. It appears a matter of personal ideals and pros and cons of a situation. Yet to write them down side by side and make a through decisions – seems to defeat the purpose of random generosity – or any kindness – all together. Doesn’t it? For these acts are fairly illogical themselves…